Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
