he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
