So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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