ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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