If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
