and next time when you feel me up, do it right
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
