worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
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Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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