the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
