Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
