By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize