That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
