How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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