So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
