i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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