Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
