I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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