Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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