Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
