I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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