If i come over, it means nothing
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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