There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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