I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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