Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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