im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
