you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
