there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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