they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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