Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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