Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
