i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
