He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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