So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
