Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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