i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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