He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
