he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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