You can't special order awesome
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
