Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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