just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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