i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
