okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
