Ambien. No doubt about it.
she looked like the before picture.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
