he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
