this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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