Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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