In the future we'll all be gay
Your face is a jimmy john
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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