I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize