He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
