I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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