I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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