well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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