"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
