I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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