My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
