it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
